January 21, 2004

ACIDMAN NEEDS AN INTERVENTION

Stubborn bastard has gone soft. He's pure slush. Mr. Grammar nazi isn't even bothering to fix his obvious typos.

His writing is slurred, his speech is slurred, and he is likely sitting in a puddle of his own drool as we speak, that is if he hasn't already reached a valium-induced vegetative state.

Apparently he IS still capable of dialing numbers on the telephone, although he will admit that the first two times that he attempted to call, he received a disconnected message. Jeez man! Pull yourself together.

So, why did he call? I don't know; maybe he was responding to my accusation that he left his fucking brain in Jamaica, or my comment on his post about being fucked up last Thursday, which--for some dumb reason--appears to have been the highlight of his trip.

I know it's rough, man. I do. You were in a tropical paradise with an easy-going babe that I'm not allowed to link (even though she REALLY deserves a link for putting up with a week of Acid-crap.) And then you had to crash back down to the sad truth, that which we all know and love as reality.

Could you THINK about your readers for a minute? Huh? A minute, okay?

WE had to live without your intelligent yet asswitted, insightful yet oblivious, ALWAYS assertive, NEVER humble, opinion and words for an ENTIRE week.

AS IF that weren't horrible ENOUGH, we also had to spend said week in a virtual litter box THAT DESPERATELY NEEDS TO BE CHANGED.

LET'S MAKE A DEAL
What will it take to get you back? Will you end the strike if she puts your sexy topless photo back in place?

Okay, brothers and sisters of the blog, for those of you that think I'm exaggerating about Pappy, here's a couple of quotes, "I'm nootta stubbborrn baasstaard; I'ma melllooow baastaard..."

In response to the mess on his blog, "Well, I'm fuuucked up." Well, I guess so. If I took SIX of these, I would be too!

Enough's enough! Get fucked up on your own time. Do your homeowork first. Don't tell me, "Write. dammit" if I take a DAY off, and then run off to la-la land all week.

I know I'm not the only one that's noticed. This place feels weird. It's all quiet and weird. WAKE UP! I could go on, but I won't. I'm lecturing. I intended to throw a pep rally, but, hey, I'm no cheerleader.

Will all 2000 of you please comment below, and demand the return of the Spunky Monkey? (Or whatever it is that you'd like to see a little more of from the man...)