January 07, 2004

Amen!

I remember being a little kid, and my mother and I were sitting in a corner of a doughnut shop. Across the store, the door opened and a teenage guy walked in. Within two seconds, he overpowered the aroma of an entire doughnut shop with his cologne. Idiot.

And my old lady gives me hail about wanting to smell her armpits, and her bellybutton.

Go figger.

- D

What is it that makes people think that a liberal smattering of perfume before boarding the bus is a good idea? Maybe If they knew how close their perfume comes to making me hurl down the back of their neck it would be different.

Dropdown oxygen masks might help.

The oxygen would also be appreciated by us air breathers who find the O2 levels stiflingly low during the final approach into the city. Why don’t people at least open the vents?

I've never understood why some folks feel the need to marinate in cologne and perfume. Too much of either one on a plane is bad, but I once flew 2 hours next to a woman who was using nail polish remover and then painted her nails right next to me. Gag me.

I would rather smell a fart, instead of perfume any day, a fart leaves in minutes, perfume lasts all day .

I wore a suit to a lunch meeting today. I was freshly showered. Even took the time to apply some makeup I found in the cabinet.

When shaking hands when I was leaving, I exclaimed "*Jane! How are you!!" She looked up at me blankly, and said "*Jane Collins, so nice tewmeetchu". We left the meeting, and my friend was busting a gut. "She didn't have the first CLUE who you were! I can't BELIEEEEVE it! She has only interviewed you about what, 10 times?"

I said "I didn't get it either, but then there were a couple of tradesmen that walked right past and didn't even say hey. It musta been the suit and makeup." For *Jane, she usually interviews me for the fair when I'm covered with 3 different types of animal shit and hay is hanging out of my hair. The builders have usually seen me so covered with sweat that it looks like I'm the next contestant in a wet T-shirt contest and I used to have concrete slowly solidifying on my boots and hands and flaking off onto the floor with little muted plops.

I guess I didn't smell bad enough to be recognized as me today.

*The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Hear, hear. You hit the nail on the head. I have allergies and when people hose themselves down with cologne or perfume, it shuts down my breathing. I am always tempted to light a match next to them and see if they go up like a pan of gas.
They ought to put bomb-bay doors on airplanes. Then have a flight attendant go by with a sniffer. If the sniffer redlines, the passenger gets a guest seat on the bay doors. You know what happens next.

Might have known you were an Old Spice man....

Ditto.

Wichi Dude, talk about allergies to perfumes! I stayed as far away from one of my former co-workers as I could because my lungs would literally feel like I had inhaled thousands of pins, leading to coughing so hard I'd vomit.

Hi...I´m just surfed in and want to say hello!
Regards George

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