Gut Rumbles

December 31, 2003

more on blow jobs

My friend, Steve Hamby, was diagnosed with prostate cancer two years before I was. When he came to visit the mini-farm after he recovered from the surgery, he told me some amazing things. I didn't really know that much about the disease at the time.

"The surgery left me impotent," he told me, matter-of-factly. "The nerves that make your dick hard are wrapped all around your prostate, and they are so tiny that not many surgeons can get in and out of there and leave you intact."

I now know from past experience of my own that the "nerve sparing" surgery is largely bullshit. Putting the prostate where it is and giving it the job it does is a design flaw in the human body. Let engineers for GM or Ford Motor Company pull such a stunt when they build a car and lawyers will be all over them like white on rice. BEJUS! HOW CRAZY CAN YOU BE?

Okay. Let's sue God now.

Steve also told me that the surgery involves not only the removal of the prostate gland, but the removal of all seminal vesicles attached to it. I was stunned. "You can't cum anymore?" I asked.

"I can have an orgasm, and it feels pretty much like it did before, except I think my dick has shrunk. Luckily for me, I had some room to spare on the dick horizon. It ain't what it once was, but I've still got enough. But, no. I don't have any of the plumbing to make cum with anymore. I use injections to get it up and I dry-fire when I have an orgasm."

I was totally amazed by what he told me that day. I thought, "Just Damn! I don't want to live like that."

Guess what? I changed my mind.

I went through the same thing. The cancer killed Steve and I lived. I would have traded places with him in a minute if I could have. He was married with two children. I was divorced, with an ex-wife who was running off every weekend to fuck another man. Steve had a lot to live for. At the time, I didn't believe that I did.

Steve was right about a couple of things. You can have an orgasm after prostate surgery, but you DO dry-fire. No more swallowing cum if you give ME a blow-job. You don't have to worry about the taste because there's no there, there. All the pipes were removed.

My dick shrunk, too, even with the bionic Roscoe I have installed now. I once was hung like a stallion. I had wimmen see it when it was angry and gasp. Those days are long gone.

But after being totally impotent for 19 months, having the Energizer Bunny that I have now sure beats what I had during that time. Just push the button, and I'm ready to go. Roscoe may not be what he once was, but he works, every time.

My only real problem is getting the damn thing DOWN now. The implants are still a little bit stiff.


Ms Anna, AKA Lady Mae, has added a few more comments over at Key's Issues.

I'd like to know if you, Acidman, would go down on your lover after you had ejaculated into her vagina, pre-bionic Roscoe days?

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 31, 2003 01:53 PM

Hey, I want to know the answer to that one, too.

Posted by: Velociman on December 31, 2003 02:43 PM

I can answer it. I can't imagine ANYTHING slowing him down.

Although, like I said in my comments, I've never met any man that didn't cringe at the thought of a "snowball."

Posted by: Key on December 31, 2003 03:35 PM

I've done "snowballs" all of my life. I have NO inhibitions when it comes to sex.

Okay, I take that back. I no longer like having a finger stuck up my ass. Urologists will take all the erotic pleasure out of that. It's no fun anymore when those bastards get finished with you.

Posted by: Acidman on December 31, 2003 03:49 PM

Acidman, how about a small vibrator, the mini-size?

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 31, 2003 03:57 PM

I should have known.

I think of myself as extremely passionate and quite uninhibited.

But I must admit that there are some things that gross me out--an oral swapfest of a white, mucousy, bodily fluid that smells like chlorine is one of those things.

Posted by: Key on December 31, 2003 04:40 PM

Key, it's the ammonia from the "piss" left in the male ureatha that you're smelling, probably.

I guess that could go both ways if a woman accidentally has what is commonly called a "golden shower."

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 31, 2003 06:42 PM

Of COURSE you can have an orgasm without the ... um... other stuff. The orgasm takes place in your brain, despite what your johnson is telling you. Sex is a treacherous thing. Thankfully.

Posted by: Lucygoosey on December 31, 2003 10:10 PM

Well, something has to shut off the flow of urine before ejaculation, so the erection-causing nerves have to run through that area. Even if the prostate's other functions were contained in an organ located elsewhere, those nerves would still have to run to some organ at the base of the bladder. The real problem is simply that the prostate is so cancer-prone.

Of course, even that makes no difference from a certain standpoint, because the onset of prostate cancer almost always takes place long after the reproductive system has fufilled its primary objective (and also, generally, past the point where a woman of similar age can no longer have children anyway). Sadly, the male body is basically expendable after it's fertilized a few eggs.

Posted by: Tom F. on January 1, 2004 02:51 PM

Oh, and Ms. Anna, the whole point of anal penetration, for a male, is to stimulate the prostrate. It's kinda pointless if you no longer have one.

Posted by: Tom F. on January 1, 2004 02:54 PM

I started to make another comment to Tom F., but stopped myself.

Posted by: Ms Anna on January 1, 2004 03:09 PM

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