Gut Rumbles
 

December 17, 2003

weight loss

Obesity is the new boogie-man that lawyers wish to exploit to enrich themselves save mankind from itself. I firmly believe that "saving mankind from itself" is a totally futile cause, and I especially believe that going after obesity as somebody else's fault is the wrong way to attack.

The theiving bastards holy jihadis got away with the shakedown of tobacco companies, because smokers are a minority in this country and the tobacco companies caved under pressure from the government. I don't believe that extorting large sums of cash from McDonald's and Wendy's will be as easy.

Do you know how you get fat? It's a really simple process. You stuff your pie-hole with more calories than your body burns every day. That's it. Wanna lose weight? Eat less and exercise. This ain't rocket science.

And it damn sure ain't the fault of McDonald's or Burger King if you sit on your double-wide ass and stuff your pie-hole with junk every day. That's YOUR FAULT.

Anti-smokers would love to see R.J. Reynolds and Phillip Morris go belly-up. They HATE cigarettes and they outnumber the smokers in this country. But do fat people REALLY want to bankrupt KFC and Burger King? I don't think so. Get twelve fat people on a jury trying one of those idiotic lawsuits against fast-food companies. You know what's going to happen when the lawyer pleads his case? He is going to make those people HUNGRY, that's what.

Goddam. They'll eat THE LAWYER before the trial is finished.

Maybe it's easy for me to take this stance, because I am not fat. I don't eat a lot, but I eat whatever I want when I want it. I've maintained the same weight for 25 years now. If I can do it, anybody can.

Of course, if it was easy, any asshole could do it.

Comments

Goddam. They'll eat THE LAWYER before the trial is finished.

Rob, I think you're onto the beginning of a plan here.

They're so common, most are just McLawyers.

They tell continual Whoppers.

They act like Clowns.

And if Jared will eat enough of 'em, maybe he'll fatten up, shut up, and go the hell away?

Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim on December 17, 2003 07:10 AM

Thank you, Acidman.

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 17, 2003 07:55 AM

Only in America...

Posted by: nickk on December 17, 2003 08:14 AM

Hmm... eat the lawyers? Hey, if that's the case, I'm all for these lawsuits.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on December 17, 2003 08:52 AM

Reminds me of a spoof diet book I saw online:

http://david-drake.com/roast/Diet.html

The other covers are worth checking out too.

Posted by: Jason Bontrager on December 17, 2003 09:53 AM

Reminds me of a spoof diet book I saw online:

http://david-drake.com/roast/Diet.html

The other covers are worth checking out too.

Posted by: Jason Bontrager on December 17, 2003 09:53 AM

Whoops! Sorry about the double post.

Posted by: Jason Bontrager on December 17, 2003 09:54 AM

This is one of my very favorite topics -- it really isn't about how much you eat, but what you are eating. Eat lots of sugar, starch and flour, from foods that stimulate insulin production, and you will weigh a ton eventually, not to mention be at risk for Type 2 diabetes and other fun things. The idea that this could somehow be anyone else's fault is ridiculous, and I imagine it would ruin the case when the jury sends out to McDonald's for lunch . . . I may have to go post on the subject today. Grrrr!

Posted by: Anne on December 17, 2003 10:30 AM

I probably eat more than some, but less than a lot of others. I have a lot of friends that eat more than me, some lots more, and never gain a pound. I've been around this circle over and over again, dieticians, diets, one thing and another, nothing changes, I'm still a big bastard. To date, I've tried everything but surgery and heroin addiction. Sometimes it is a person's metabolisim. I'm not gonna sue McDonalds, though, for winning the "fat gene" lottery.

Posted by: mark on December 17, 2003 10:37 AM

I got fat before B'ham even had a McDonalds. Who do I get to sue?

Posted by: jim on December 17, 2003 11:36 AM

My husband weighs twice as much as I do., yet we both eat the same thing, same portions (okay, maybe I eat more). If we had to return to a hunting and gathering or subsistence agrarian lifestyle, obviously he would be the survivor and I would come through the winter lookin' like a concentration camp survivor.

(Actually, I have enough duck, sheep, and chickens on hand to survive and even gain weight during the winter in case of a disaster. If I were to eat them all, though, the neighbors better watch out. They can't run nearly as fast as the livestock.)


Posted by: SwampWoman on December 17, 2003 12:19 PM

I just finished linking and posting back, and I suddenly realized that the lawsuit will fail.

Didn't Burger King's motto used to be "Have It Your Way"?

Technically, they would be suing because they got exactly what they wanted . . .

Posted by: Anne on December 17, 2003 12:28 PM

Smokers are a minority? Hmm, I'm not so sure about that. There are a LOT of smokers out there.
Now as for the rest of your entry, I agree, they will eat the lawyer. And they will have it their way , with cheese and special sauce. Leave off the pickels, lawyers are pretty sour already.

Posted by: wanda on December 17, 2003 02:53 PM

While I agree with you that being fat (or getting fat) is the person's own fault ~ I have to admin that statement and say that sometimes being weak is not the only problem, sometimes its medical. ALas, in my case its the fact that I like the wrong foods and not enough activity. BUT then I have been steadily losing since last Jan....so hopefully I am not one of the weaker ones.

and the eating the lawyer is a good twist on the lawyers eating the defendents for lunch!

Posted by: Chaos on December 17, 2003 04:34 PM

Little Stevie Joseph...

Posted by: Stephen on December 17, 2003 06:51 PM

I've got the million dollare cure for all the fatty's out there.

Eat less. Exercise more.

Problem solved.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 17, 2003 08:14 PM

I like vegetables and lean meats. I don't like chocolate - I don't eat sweets. Things that are too rich or sweet make me sick. Everything I eat is supposedly "healthy" . I am active. I used to go to the gym regularly but now I just walk and I am still fat. Not just a little overweight and whiney cuz I can't fit last year's jeans - I mean over 200 lbs fat. I hate junk food. I never eat burgers and fries - don't even like them. I eat less than most people I know. So what is up with that? I lay off pasta, breads, and all the complex carbs like all the new rage is. I exist on salads, chicken and fish. I guess it is my fault. I hate skinny people who eat junk shit constantly and never gain an ounce then look down on me for being fat. I hate people assuming I am less intelligent than I am because I am fat. Fuck that shit.

Posted by: Fat Ass on December 17, 2003 11:41 PM

Lawyers also craft the legislation that has made felons out of millions who have never violated anyone's rights. We need a massive repeal drive that frees up enough space in the prisons to accomodate the legal thieves and tyrants for the rest of their lives. After all, fraud, theft, and repression are real crimes.

Posted by: Brett on December 18, 2003 07:20 AM

"Wanna lose weight? Eat less and exercise. This ain't rocket science."

Yeah, but what about the beer ?
I'm too busy to run a mile for every can of MGD.

Posted by: Dan Pursel on December 18, 2003 10:58 AM

"Eat less. Exercise more."

Less than what? More than what?

Posted by: mark on December 18, 2003 12:13 PM

Do I have to spell it out?

Take it for the face value.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 18, 2003 05:22 PM

Sure. I'll take it at face value, ralphy. Let's suppose I start eating less than you, and exercising more than you. Will I weigh the same as you? No. My metabolisim is different. Different people process calories differently. You can spell out anything you'd like but the fact remains: it's not that simple.

Posted by: mark on December 19, 2003 12:58 PM

B.S.

If America ate less and exercised more, we wouldn't be a nation of fatties. It IS that simple. Diet pills and wonder diets are no substiture for a heathy diet and exercise.

Am I the only one who has noticed how FAT kids are today? Are you actually going to tell me we gave birth to a generation of children with metabolism problems?

Sure, their are exceptions to the rule and perhaps you're one of them. Bottom line, a little fresh air and exercise would do this nation some wonders.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 19, 2003 06:59 PM

Great, Ralpny. So glad you have the answer.

Problem is, the answer for one person is not the answer for the next. My family has a remarkable ability to retain weight, I'm sure we're not the only family to do so.

In the last week, I've walked over seventy miles. Fast, I average 20 minutes a mile (I weigh 340. Do the math. it takes a lot of horsepower to do that) I've also eaten less than 1200 calories a day, all from leafy green salad vegetables. . Result? Almost nothing. My sister was on a 900 calorie diet this time last year, the final attempt at weight loss before a gastric bypass. In the year since the bypass she's lost weight but is still large. If the answer was that simple, we'd all be skinny. The answer, if there is one, lies in understanding metabolisim, tailoring diets to individuals, maybe looking at genetic markers that let some people store fat more efficiently than others.

I have lost weight before, by eating so little that I actually developed anorexia (my average daily intake, 1/2 steamed chicken breast (6 ounces) and 1/2 head of lettuce). On this diet I lost about a pound a week. The MOMENT I returned to a 'normal" diet, my weight shot up. I quit a 3 pack a day smoking habit cold turkey, so don't talk to me about willpower. It's not BS. The problem is more than just eating less and exercising more.

Oh, and I have had this argument before- I challenged that person to try to keep up with me for a week- I work 10 hour days, I have a 3 hour commute, and I work around the house when I get home, plus other things. I'm not on my ass all the time. If you haven't fought this battle personally, you just don't know.

Posted by: mark on December 19, 2003 10:08 PM

Hey Windbag,
I don't doubt you are the exception to the rule.

Meanwhile the rest of America needs to hit the fucking treadmill.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 19, 2003 11:05 PM

Hey, Ralphy; if you think you have testes of adequate size, use the link to email me and I'll send you my address, and you can call me windbag to my face.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 11:40 AM

I think you need to take a break from blogging and go hit the treadmill. Not much calories being burned at a keyboard.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 01:28 PM

Heya, Ralphy, I walked seven miles this morning in dense brush carrying a 14 pound rifle. What YOU been doing?

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 01:46 PM

Oh, that's right: Mouthing off. I forgot.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 01:48 PM

Mark,
Eat less. Exercise more. A motto that millions of Americans could use.

I made a comment about my spin on weight loss. You then discredited it as though what you think is a "higher authority" than what I think. I could give a flying fuck what your "personal" issues are and your opinion isn't going to change mine.

I can't help but wonder if the only thing that is bigger than YOUR mouth is your appetite.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 02:20 PM

Or maybe your ass.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 02:28 PM

I agree with the initial posting- suing McDonalds over stuffing your mouth is merely stupid.

The "eat less exercise more" attitude is also merely stupid, and it's the pat response from people that have never had to fight a serious weight problem. When you've been more than 150 lbs overweight, and you've completely controlled that by eating less and exercising more, come back, and we'll talk. Until then, you have no idea what you're talking about. And I'm still waiting for that mail. Oh, believe me, I'm not holding my breath. And I wouldn't waste my time trying to change anything as insignificant as your mind. I'm merely pointing out that you don't have a clue. Must be a democrat.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 02:38 PM

Let me follow your logic.

You disagree with my approach to weight loss. Therefore I am an idiot and don't have a clue and must be a democrat.

Indeed, you are a a very smart man.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 02:52 PM

No. You seem to be a democrat based on your "one size fits all" approach to weight loss. "Logic" tells anyone that.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 03:04 PM

Frankly, I was cracking wise when I responded to your first post. it was meant in humor. Sorry you didn't take it that way. of course, your post, and subsequent posts, have made it clear what your position is. Everyone should just eat less and exercise more.

Well, frankly, eating less is good, and exercising more is good, and I do try. I also know this: That is not the solution to my weight problem. Nor that of many others. And it's an overly simplistic "solution" to a problem you (and many others) know nothing about. But hey, it's fun to make fun of the fat guy, right?

Oh, and I forgot to mention- VERY original making fun of the fat guys ass. Your daddy must be mighty proud of you. And man, I never heard such witty reparte! I mean, I been fat a lot of my life and NOBODY ever called me fatass. Try harder, dumbass. I can "eat less and exercise more" and be skinny, according to you. You'll always be stupid.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 03:13 PM

As much as I thought I would never find myself agreeing with Ralphy, I do this time.

A 20 minute mile isn't exercise. Granted, if you've been inactive and stuffing your face you have to start somewhere so you don't kill yourself, but don't fool yourself into thinking that's the way to go.

You need aerobic excersize and diet. Not just eat less, either, but eat correctly. While genetics may not be in your favor, they can be overcome. I see more fatties making excuses about their weight than trying to correct it.

Posted by: Geoffrey on December 20, 2003 03:39 PM

Geoffrey, are you saying that everyone needs to do aerobic exercise? How about my best friend? great health, 6'2", 185. Never exercised a day in his life. Eats more than me. more of the wrong stuff. Sits on his ass. At what level do I need to exercise to get to that point? How little should I eat? of what? Do you have those answers? I wish somebody would. I've been through 5 different pysicians and diet plans. So far, nobody comes up with any useful long term solutions. Oh, and the term "fatties" is especially nice. Again, people who have not fought this battle don't know how hard it is, and it's not as simple as "eat less exercise more" End. Of. Question. care to put your money where your mouth is? Show up with a diet and exercise regimen. I'll do it religiously (I've been through this over and over) At the end, like five doctors, you'll apologize and I'll still be stuck. Guaranteed.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 03:55 PM

As I stated genetics may be against you. They aren't against your friend. That doesn't mean he doesn't need aerobic excersize, though. You obviously do. A 20 minute mile isn't aerobic exercize. Even if you're 350 pounds. Sorry, you just get no sympathy from me. I've seen too many people with weight problems that WANTED to lose the weight actually do it.

I've already formed my opinion of you. You don't want to work to lose the weight. You'd rather sit there and cry about how impossible it is. It IS as simple as diet and exercise. End. Of. Question. It's that simple. You just don't want to believe it, and you don't want to do the work. That's why miracle diets are so popular. People are lazy.

Posted by: Geoffrey on December 20, 2003 04:02 PM

"You just don't want to believe it, and you don't want to do the work. That's why miracle diets are so popular. People are lazy."

My friend is lucky, but I'm lazy, right lemme get this straight: Einstein was lucky, but you're not the next Ramanujan because you're too lazy. Mozart was lucky but you're not a great composer because you're lazy, right? Oh, your "logic" only applies to fat people. I see.

Again, I offer a challenge: Walk in my shoes. Then see if you can call me lazy. If you can still breathe.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 04:06 PM

The guy who threatened to beat me up over a disagreement on weight loss is calling me "stupid?"

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 04:09 PM

Ok, let me type slower so perhaps you can understand this. I'll put it in caps for you. GENETICS APPLIES. YOU MAY NEVER BE THE SAME BUILD AS YOUR FRIEND, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A FAT ASS.

I'll never play the pipes like Gordon Webster. I don't have the talent. I CAN play well, though, because I practice.

You stated yourself you walk a 20 minute mile. I don't know you personally, but I know the type. I see it all the time. If your failure is someone else's fault, it's much easier to accept. Blame genetics. That way you don't feel as bad sitting on your computer all night stuffing your face.

Posted by: Geoffrey on December 20, 2003 04:10 PM

And I've already made it clear: I WILL do the work. if you don't think a 20 minute mile is a feat, strap on enough weight so you total 350 lbs, and then do it. I have done the work, over and over again. To no avail. And I know a whole lot of people in the same boat.

G, I'm not trying to be argumentative. I'm telling you, it's not as easy as everyone thinks. "eat less, exercise more" is a simplistic solution to a complex problem and it's not going to work for most people. Sure, a few people can do it, and do, and it's a struggle of heroic proportions. I did it myself when I was 25, and it nearly wasted me. At 44, I'm looking for good answers, and all anyone has, is "eat less, exercise more"

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 04:11 PM

It is that simple. Why do people gain weight? What is fat? Why is fat made?

If you take in less than you burn, your body doesn't store it. If you take in considerably less than you burn, your body burns that which is stored.

Therefore diet and exercise = burned fat

Posted by: Geoffrey on December 20, 2003 04:15 PM

LOL! I'm "sitting" (actually standing) at my computer, making parts on a lathe, deburring said parts, writing code for the next part, typing these responses, and inletting a rifle stock for a new barrel. I'm at WORK. Pity I'm SO FUCKING LAZY I HAVE A FAT ASS. I'll try to type slow for you so you understand: THE ANSWER IS NOT THAT SIMPLE. I do more in a day than many accomplish in a week. Granted, a lot of my work is mental in nature, but some is physical as well. It comes back to: You won the genetic lottery. Without working out five hours a day, and starving yourself to the point of physical pain, you can maintain your weight. I cannot, so I am lazy.
Put on a hundred and fifty pounds, wear it for twenty years, and then take it off and tell me how easy it is.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 04:18 PM

I give up. I'm not going to get into it with you on Rob's blog. This isn't my place.

I could care less. Sit on your fat ass and eat bon bons for all I care. It doesn't affect me. It really doesn't. You and I both know the truth. If you wanted to, you could be thinner. It's easier to make excuses for the remaining 10 or 20 years you have left.

Enjoy them. While you're "lathing", I'll be out skiing.

Have fun, and good luck.

Posted by: Geoffrey on December 20, 2003 04:22 PM

Be careful, he may threaten to beat you up.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 04:22 PM

Hey, Ralphy; if you think you have testes of adequate size, use the link to email me and I'll send you my address, and you can call me windbag to my face.

I repeat: Do you? I guess not. No mention of beating anyone. I wouldn't have to.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 04:26 PM

"Sit on your fat ass and eat bon bons for all I care. "

never even seen a bon bon. However, since you also can only say "eat less exercise more" with your clear moral superiority, I guess you must be better than I am. Good thing too. That skiiing must be important. Wouldn't want to waste anything that important on a useless fatass like me.

Of course, like all true bigots, you have made up your mind. No way I could be right, because I'm fat, and worthy of your opprobrium scorn. grow up.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 04:30 PM

You are fat because YOU believe you are right, thus, you won't change it. As I've said before, it's much easier for you to sit there and justify being fat.

Now you're pulling the "poor me" bit. "Look at the bigoted thin person making fun of me" Boo Hoo. As I also stated before, I don't look down on you for being fat anymore than I look down upon people that smoke. You both choose to do your thing and statistically you'll both die years before me.

Posted by: Geoffrey on December 20, 2003 04:37 PM

Mark,
Retrace the thread. You started this whole affair so don't cry "victim" now.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 04:40 PM

So I lack testes because I haven't called you a windbag over email? So after I do, what then?

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 04:42 PM

No. I'm pulling the "I've met people who know all I have to do is eat less and exercise more". Thousands of times.

I stated above: I quite a three pack a day habit, cold turkey. Care to say I don't have willpower? I work three jobs, plus write for a local paper, plus do contract programmiong. Care to tell me I'm lazy? Could it be that you're wrong about me? could it be that your preconceived notion of 'fatties" isn't as true as you'd like it to be? No. You're right, ot course.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 04:42 PM

"So I lack testes because I haven't called you a windbag over email? So after I do, what then?"

No. You lack testes because you won't call me that to my face. Don't hide behind a computer.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 04:44 PM

And I never claimed to be a victim. YOU go reread the posts, Ralphie boy. I only ever claimed its not as easy as 'eat less, exercise more"

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 04:46 PM

Oh I wouldn't hesitate to call you a windbag to your face. Mark my words.

"I only ever claimed its not as easy as 'eat less, exercise more"
As I ceded, you are the exception to the rule.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 04:48 PM

Then show up, ralphie. I'll be glad to wait for you. I live i the chicago area, I'd even be pleased to work it around your schedule.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 04:50 PM

Well, what will happen when I show up and call you a windbag?

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 04:53 PM

You won't.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 04:58 PM

And if I did, you wouldn't do a fucking thing.

Do you always threaten to beat people up when they disagree with you?

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 05:01 PM

I haven't threatened anyone. I asked you to have the courage to get out from behind your computer and call me a windbag to my face. You do not.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 05:05 PM

I stated I do and expressed that you would lack follow up.

As we already discussed, it's YOU that needs to spend less time behind the computer.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 05:08 PM

Where are you then? I keep waiting for your email. Once I get an email I'll respond with an address where I'll meet you. Then you can call me a windbag to my face. Until you do, you are a coward hiding behind your computer.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 05:10 PM

What, am I telepathic? What's your email address dumbass?

What's going to happen if we meet? Are you going to sit in me?

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 05:17 PM

Typo.

what are you going to do, sit on me?

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 05:18 PM

All you have to do is click on the link. You know, the blue part that says "mark" just below here.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 05:20 PM

You got to be fucking kidding me?

You are so fucking lazy you can't spell your own email addy?

You are so fucking lazy that you expect me to go to your blog to find your email address ?

No wonder you're fat.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 05:27 PM

All you have to do is click on the link. You know, the blue part that says "mark" just below here.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 05:31 PM

Okay, with this it makes three posts that link directly to my email by clicking on the blue "mark" just below the post.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 05:32 PM

No wonder you're so stupid. Four.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 05:33 PM

It linked your blog up until then.

Again, I'm not telepathic.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 05:35 PM

The instructions were quite clear.

Posted by: mark on December 20, 2003 05:36 PM

Dumbass. Go to the above thread and you'll find that you only changed your link from your blog to your email address AFTER I asked what it was and had already followed your blog link.


Again, I am not telepathic.

Posted by: "Ralphy" on December 20, 2003 05:39 PM

BTW - this is a waste of Acidman's band