Gut Rumbles

December 05, 2003


My 92 year-old grandmother stopped smoking cigarettes after she had a heart attack in 1975. Her life was touch-and-go there for a while, but she pulled through. After that experience, she laid down the cancer-sticks and started dipping snuff. She still dips snuff today and always carries a spit-cup when she sits on her patio.

I like to visit with Mommie on her patio. I like Mommie's spit-cup. She uses a paper Dixie Cup with a napkin stuffed inside it, so that it absorbs the tobacco juice when she leans over, in a most delicate manner, and lets loose a stream of brown juice from her mouth that lands in that cup. She may or may not have her dentures in at the time, depending on her mood.

I chew tobacco sometimes. It's not a regular habit, but I like a good chaw of Levi Garret when I'm hiking or sitting around a campfire in the woods. I like to spit into the fire and listen to it sizzle. People who find that idea disgusting don't know how to chew tobacco.

I never learned to dip snuff. I've tried it before, but that shit just gets all out of control in your mouth if you don't know what you're doing. I never did and I made a mess out of that operation every time I tried. My grandmother can do it, and she does it well.

I suppose that her ability comes from years of practice. When you live for 92 years, you no longer give a shit what people think about you. They should give a shit about what YOU think of THEM. I think that Mommie dips snuff as well as anyone I ever saw.

Just don't reach for your beer and pick up that spit-cup by mistake. You won't like the taste.


That last comment is the reason I still sniff soda cans 3 years after divorcing my ex. He had a nasty habit of using empty beer or soda cans then not remembering to throw them away.

Posted by: ivory on December 5, 2003 04:42 PM

My grandma had a old coffee can that sat by the heater for the men folk to spit in. I enjoyed watchin my uncle hit it from a distance. I started out with Levi but had to graduate to Red Man. Its a little stronger. Gives a good thick spit for better distance.

Posted by: Grey Biker on December 5, 2003 05:05 PM


Posted by: Ms Anna on December 5, 2003 06:01 PM

Chawing tobacco and dipping snuff are two entirely different things. When one chews, one spits. When one dips, one sneezes. There is a definite art to dipping, and the best dippers would take it delicately from their wrist. A good dipper is a pleasure to behold. Pity it seems to be such a lost art.

Posted by: Noddy on December 5, 2003 06:22 PM

Noddy, you must not be a Southern. I know of a lot of people who use snuff in their mouths, not up their noses.

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 5, 2003 06:32 PM


Posted by: Ms Anna on December 5, 2003 06:32 PM

This one doesn't read like you at all.

Posted by: Stevie on December 5, 2003 07:55 PM

This was NOT written by you. I am a lurker, not a
blogger, but this piece does not have your usual
flow. Am I right?

Posted by: Peg on December 5, 2003 09:53 PM

This is the fake one.

Posted by: Michael McElroy on December 5, 2003 10:20 PM

Come on ... this was written by the poser. This ain't yore cussin'!

I thought it would be tougher that that. Great idea ... but bad implementation on the poser's part.

Posted by: The Parson on December 5, 2003 11:07 PM

This has GOT to be the imposter - you've called your grandmother "Mawmaw" in the past, at least every time I can remember.

Posted by: Chet on December 5, 2003 11:26 PM

Hey I dip and find that there is nothing wrong with it unless you are an asshole about. Unlike death sticks, the only one I am killing is myself. Hell I like the fact that people think it gross and laugh when seconds after they tell me that it is have no problems polluting the air I breath with a death stick.

Posted by: ARENDA on December 7, 2003 02:23 AM

Ms. Anna, I'm Southern by way of Germany. For the last 40 years I've lived well South of the Mason-Dixon line. Most of the folks around here hardly know what real snuff is. I know there are folks that call their wads of chaw "snuff", but real snuff is fine, almost a powder, and often perfumed. If you sniff and sneeze it, it leaves a pleasant odor behind, definitely better than auto exhaust fumes.

I'm willing to concede there are folks that will chew snuff, but they are missing the real pleasures of it.

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