Gut Rumbles
 

December 05, 2003

spit-cups

My 92 year-old grandmother stopped smoking cigarettes after she had a heart attack in 1975. Her life was touch-and-go there for a while, but she pulled through. After that experience, she laid down the cancer-sticks and started dipping snuff. She still dips snuff today and always carries a spit-cup when she sits on her patio.

I like to visit with Mommie on her patio. I like Mommie's spit-cup. She uses a paper Dixie Cup with a napkin stuffed inside it, so that it absorbs the tobacco juice when she leans over, in a most delicate manner, and lets loose a stream of brown juice from her mouth that lands in that cup. She may or may not have her dentures in at the time, depending on her mood.

I chew tobacco sometimes. It's not a regular habit, but I like a good chaw of Levi Garret when I'm hiking or sitting around a campfire in the woods. I like to spit into the fire and listen to it sizzle. People who find that idea disgusting don't know how to chew tobacco.

I never learned to dip snuff. I've tried it before, but that shit just gets all out of control in your mouth if you don't know what you're doing. I never did and I made a mess out of that operation every time I tried. My grandmother can do it, and she does it well.

I suppose that her ability comes from years of practice. When you live for 92 years, you no longer give a shit what people think about you. They should give a shit about what YOU think of THEM. I think that Mommie dips snuff as well as anyone I ever saw.

Just don't reach for your beer and pick up that spit-cup by mistake. You won't like the taste.

Comments

That last comment is the reason I still sniff soda cans 3 years after divorcing my ex. He had a nasty habit of using empty beer or soda cans then not remembering to throw them away.

Posted by: ivory on December 5, 2003 04:42 PM

My grandma had a old coffee can that sat by the heater for the men folk to spit in. I enjoyed watchin my uncle hit it from a distance. I started out with Levi but had to graduate to Red Man. Its a little stronger. Gives a good thick spit for better distance.

Posted by: Grey Biker on December 5, 2003 05:05 PM

Ugh!!!

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 5, 2003 06:01 PM

Chawing tobacco and dipping snuff are two entirely different things. When one chews, one spits. When one dips, one sneezes. There is a definite art to dipping, and the best dippers would take it delicately from their wrist. A good dipper is a pleasure to behold. Pity it seems to be such a lost art.

Posted by: Noddy on December 5, 2003 06:22 PM

Noddy, you must not be a Southern. I know of a lot of people who use snuff in their mouths, not up their noses.

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 5, 2003 06:32 PM

"Southerner"

Posted by: Ms Anna on December 5, 2003 06:32 PM

This one doesn't read like you at all.

Posted by: Stevie on December 5, 2003 07:55 PM

This was NOT written by you. I am a lurker, not a
blogger, but this piece does not have your usual
flow. Am I right?

Posted by: Peg on December 5, 2003 09:53 PM

This is the fake one.

Posted by: Michael McElroy on December 5, 2003 10:20 PM

Come on ... this was written by the poser. This ain't yore cussin'!

I thought it would be tougher that that. Great idea ... but bad implementation on the poser's part.

Posted by: The Parson on December 5, 2003 11:07 PM

This has GOT to be the imposter - you've called your grandmother "Mawmaw" in the past, at least every time I can remember.

Posted by: Chet on December 5, 2003 11:26 PM

Hey I dip and find that there is nothing wrong with it unless you are an asshole about. Unlike death sticks, the only one I am killing is myself. Hell I like the fact that people think it gross and laugh when seconds after they tell me that it is have no problems polluting the air I breath with a death stick.

Posted by: ARENDA on December 7, 2003 02:23 AM

Ms. Anna, I'm Southern by way of Germany. For the last 40 years I've lived well South of the Mason-Dixon line. Most of the folks around here hardly know what real snuff is. I know there are folks that call their wads of chaw "snuff", but real snuff is fine, almost a powder, and often perfumed. If you sniff and sneeze it, it leaves a pleasant odor behind, definitely better than auto exhaust fumes.

I'm willing to concede there are folks that will chew snuff, but they are missing the real pleasures of it.

Posted by: Noddy on December 8, 2003 08:19 AM

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Posted by: mugu maga on December 12, 2003 04:01 AM

Hi...Im just surfed in and want to say hello!
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