Gut Rumbles
 

November 23, 2003

i've been busy today

Quinton and I had lots of things to do today, so I didn't blog. I'll just post something Catfish sent me via email:

BLUENECKS..................

Blue Necks are Northerners -- the opposite of Rednecks. Because of Redneck jokes, here are some takes on how Southern folks look at Northerners (or how Northerners sometimes think of themselves;)

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUENECK IF...

...Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

...You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

...You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.

...You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts) .

...You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

...For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.

...You don't know what a moon pie is.

...You've never had an RC Cola.

...You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.

...You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

...You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

...You have no idea what a polecat is.

...You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.

...You don't have bangs.

...You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

...You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."

...You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.

....You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.

...You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach

...You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

...The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.

....You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

...You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.

...You call binoculars opera glasses.

...You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

...You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)

...You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie)

...You don't have Maw-maw's & Pawpaw's.

...You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

...None of your fur coats are homemade.

Comments

Guess I'm in trouble.
I like using "you guys" and "ya'll" interchangeably.
I don't like okra. I have no idea what a polecat is.
Haven't had bangs since the 80s.

I must be a hybrid breed. ; )

Posted by: Key on November 23, 2003 05:46 PM

Yeah for the hybrids; guess we're just Red, White, and Blue !!

Posted by: MommaBear on November 23, 2003 06:04 PM

LMAO, Some of this is really funny!!!

I was born and raised in New York (not the CITY) the STATE. My uncle was a dairy farmer and I use to help milk the cows, and rode the tractor many times to help plow the corn field.

Of course it's TRUE, I never HEARD of okra or moon pies, until I moved to Texas.
I always called "soda"...SODA. I USE to say "you guys" , but learned very quickly that when you say this in Texas, they call you a "yankee"
I can say>>>>>>Worcestershire sauce, without any problem, and grew up on tomato sandwiches :)
I live in the south now, and truly enjoy it.

This was some really funny stuff.

Posted by: Linda on November 23, 2003 06:22 PM

Rob,

I emailed your blueneck list back to a very good friend of mine in Huntsville, Alabama (where I lived for 8 years)...he's a true southern boy, and he emailed back to me that I had forgotten one...
"you're not related to your wife's family".

Posted by: kevin on November 23, 2003 06:42 PM

A polecat is a skunk, Key. You ought to know that.

Posted by: Acidman on November 23, 2003 07:25 PM

Rob,

one more item...bluenecks, ironically, are yellow dog democrats.

Posted by: kevin on November 23, 2003 07:25 PM

Hmm, yes to the "you guys", "worcestershire", "soda", "feed store hats" and "maw-maw's & pawpaw's" ones, no to everything else, save for the fur coats bit as I'm not female.

Guess that makes me 80% redneck.

But I have gone fishing with explosives, so that probably makes it a tad higher.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on November 23, 2003 07:53 PM

Actually in in NYC we say "you'se guys".
I have lived in Texas since 97 but even before that I thought that anyone who put a sweater on their dog retarded.

I do have to say that there are plenty of reasons to be freaked out when people start talking to you on the NY subway of course it is not as bad when they start talking to the thin air.

Posted by: starhawk on November 23, 2003 08:16 PM

born raised and spent 47 yrs in new yawk- moved "out west" to colorado 9 yrs ago- agree with about half the list-down south, do they put your groceries in a bag or a sack?? and i do love okra but only in gumbo!!

Posted by: pat on November 23, 2003 09:10 PM

Goddam Acidman, by your list, this DAMN YANKEE is a RED-NECK. I been liberated ya'll.

Posted by: Wichi Dude on November 23, 2003 09:32 PM

I am a mixed breed. My Dad is a southerner and my Mom is from up north. That must be why I have always called soft drinks, "Pop".
I say "you guys" too. Another one I say that people down south tease me about is when I say, "wanna go with?" Apparently up north they say it but down here people ask me, "go with what?" Then I have to say, "ok y'all wanna go with ME?"
Mom told me when she first married my father and moved down south she discovered that what his folks called "mangoes" is what she called green peppers. My paternal grandpa calls window panes, "winder lights". Not sure if that is a southern thing or just a grandpa thing.
Cindi

Posted by: Cindi on November 23, 2003 11:51 PM

I'm definitely a blueneck, although if I had a son I wouldn't want them to become a lawyer, and I do own several cans of WD-40.

Posted by: Ole Eichhorn on November 24, 2003 12:20 AM

"...You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips. "

Ha, I've got you!

Here's something I'm willing to bet you've never thought about California before. We have free range chickens. And I'm not just talking about chickens running around on a farm, I'm talking about actually free-roaming chickens. In fact, there are two places in Sacramento with free roaming chickens.

There is a region in Fair Oaks where the chickens roam wild and free (http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?country=US&addtohistory=&address=sunrise+and+fair+oaks&city=fair+oaks&state=ca&zipcode=&homesubmit=Get+Map).

And chickens also roam free at the California State University, Sacramento (CSUS), well within Sacramento city limits. In fact, about 2 miles from the "fabulous forties" where more than one governmer has had their home. There have been fewer chickens at CSUS this year, and we have a new chancelor. As a result, peope suspect the school admin of remiving the chickens, and there have been mutliple articles in the college paper about the dearth of chickens. The students are upset that the unofficial mascot is under-reprented this year. I don't think that the college has removed any chickens, I think the chickens spread out fromt he center of campus because I've seen lost of chickens in the parking lots this year.

Byna, loves the chickens, even when they crow in the middle of a physics test.

Posted by: Byna on November 24, 2003 12:24 AM

I guess I'm a hybrid too. I moved to Texas from Michigan only 8 months ago and I'm already saying ya'll all the time, I occasionally say coke, but I still prefer pop, I hate okra, and I didn't know what a pole cat was. I have, however, seen plenty of cows in my lifetime b/c I'm from a small(ish) farm town in MI. oh, and fuck eating fried chicken with a knife and fork. do people really do that? I prefer to get my hands nice and greasy or it's not even fun.

Posted by: girl on November 24, 2003 12:39 AM

That list makes me proud of my Southern roots.

Posted by: Raspil on November 24, 2003 01:25 AM

Dang. I only scored thirteen out of thirty, and I've lived in central Indiana all my life. I think it's because my mom's family originated in South Carolina, while my dad's has been here since about 1830. I think that puts me smack on the Mason-Dixon line.

Posted by: Joanna L. on November 24, 2003 08:03 AM

I agree with just about all of them except the WD-40, got a few of those in my closet and the live chickens. The in-laws have a petting zoo upstate New York.

Posted by: Anna on November 24, 2003 08:32 AM

Aww, y'all are just jealous! Check out Juneauphotos.com and see what I saw when I stepped out into a foot of snow in my front yard last week! I looked up into the sky and........ awesome, ain't it?

Posted by: Alaska Kim on November 24, 2003 11:37 AM

Y'all forgot the most important one --

If you've never been to a funeral where the deceased last words were "Hey y'all! Watch this!", you might be a blueneck.

In the South, we allow this to happen so we can get rid of the stupid people. In the north, they elect them to public office.

Posted by: J. Fielek on November 24, 2003 01:08 PM

J. - In NYC, that explains Hillary.

Posted by: Anna on November 24, 2003 02:54 PM

Anna --

Exactly...

Posted by: J. Fielek on November 24, 2003 04:22 PM

I'd like to take the opportunity to blame Hillary on anything that sticks.

I think I'll go with clueless voters and a generally crappy turnout.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on November 24, 2003 09:08 PM

But, but, if you've ever been too drunk to go ice fishing, what would that make you?

We had okra growing in our back yard growing up in Chicago, and had it as one of the three sides (along with rutabagas and spicy rice) with my pork shoulder last time we ate out. I have a 12 pack of RC waiting to be brought in from the car, and have biscuits and gravy for breakfast now and again. I would most certainly have feedstore gimme hats if they came in 7-7/8 long oval. Wisconsin blue collar rural culture really ain't no different.

I will admit to speaking of these one guys.

Posted by: triticale on November 26, 2003 05:26 PM

The best solution against abortions is education, not snipers.

Posted by: kim bo ram on December 11, 2003 03:02 AM

The professor makes the syllabus, not you.

Posted by: Lichtenberg Amanda on December 21, 2003 03:39 AM

You know what's interesting about Washington? It's the kind of place where second-guessing has become second nature.

Posted by: Holwin Mic on January 19, 2004 01:59 PM

Some nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

Posted by: Boskovic Helena on March 17, 2004 04:26 PM

Just as a solid rock is not shaken by the storm, even so the wise are not affected by praise or blame.

Posted by: Santiman Linda Diane on May 2, 2004 09:49 AM

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Posted by: Dougherty Terence on May 19, 2004 10:48 PM
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