Gut Rumbles

October 17, 2003

supply run

I laid in provisions for the weekend today. I went to Wal-Mart and bought a case of Mountain Dew and a fresh box of wine. I also bought a 2" thick ribeye steak, which I grilled and scarfed a couple of hours ago. I selected a big baking pan for the ribs I'll cook tomorrow and a set of knives that just looked really cool. I stopped by Randall's Liquor store on the way home and bought three cartons of cigarettes and a bottle of vodka.

I am set for a while now; therefore, it's time for another recipe: Acidman's Baby-Back Ribs

* Defrost the ribs the day before you intend to cook them, or cook them as soon as you get home from the grocery store. Either way, pour all that bloody, nasty juice that comes out of them all over the meat.

* Preheat your oven to 220 degrees.

* Put a "rub" on the ribs. I use a 50-50 combination of soy and worchestershire sauce to wet them down, then I apply by hand a generous dosage of salt, black pepper, red pepper, garlic powder and Cajun's Choice blackened seasoning.

* When the oven is up to temperature, put the ribs on a baking pan, cover them loosely with aluminium foil and let them bake.

* Let them bake on that low heat all day long. Your kitchen will smell wonderful.

* About an hour before you are ready to eat, light a fire on the barbecue grill and take the ribs out of the stove. Gently lay them on the hot grill and apply barbecue sauce generously. (I make my own, but I highly recommend Johnny Harris or B.S. Muthah's for the true taste of Southern barbecue.)

* Make a big salad, some pork and beans and home-fried potatoes while the ribs cook just long enough to brown the barbecue sauce and pick up some charcol flavor.

* If you follow this recipe, the ribs will try to fall apart as you remove them from the grill. Handle your tongs carefully. GENTLY remove that beautiful meat and cut it into two-rib sections. Pile them high on a big plate, lay the tongs on top and tell your guests to dig in.

* Serve extra barbecue sauce on the side and put TWO ROLLS of paper towels on the table. This meal can be messy, as it should be. It is goddam good, too.

I am going to do that tomorrow. Too bad you're not invited.


Please forgive me a stupid question. I've only ever seen one person bake ribs before cooking them. My stepmother, when I was in about 11th grade, did that, and when I bit into one, the bone shattered and the nine million degree melted marrow exploded out of the bone and not only burned the piss out of me (stop laughing) but was the most disgusting thing ever. In the history of the world. Ever.

I love to grill out, and I really like ribs, but I so don't want that to happen. Advice? Have you ever heard of this? Was the heat in the oven too high? (that's my totally un-educated guess) Thanks.

Posted by: redsugar on October 17, 2003 06:44 PM

You bake the ribs on low heat to tenderize them and get rid of the fat. You throw them on the grill at the end to give them texture and taste.

Trust me.

Posted by: Acidman on October 17, 2003 07:50 PM

I taught you everything you know about cooking, grasshopper. heh, heh

Posted by: cop3 on October 17, 2003 08:30 PM

Why do you torture us like this?!! I'm hungry now!!!!

Posted by: DogsDon'tPurr on October 17, 2003 09:35 PM

I know, it's almost enough to make me want to drive on down there. If I left now I could be there in time. Heh.

Posted by: Jay Solo on October 17, 2003 09:41 PM

"I am going to do that tomorrow. Too bad you're not invited."


Posted by: Bill Dennis on October 17, 2003 11:37 PM

Dayum! Drool almost ran right out my mouth just now. Oh come on, you could feel a *little* sorry for me...I've never had Southern BBQ!

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