Gut Rumbles
 

October 15, 2003

why for?

Did you ever get tired of doing something that you were good at? I did once and I never recovered from the experience.

I once LOVED ice cream. I could eat it with a spoon, stick my face in a bowl and inhale chunks at a time or take it mainlined, half-melted in the veins of my arm. I was a pig about ice cream.

One day, I was at my (now) 92 year-old grandma's house and she served ice cream to me, my brother and my cousin Ernie. I bitched because I thought that I didn't get the biggest bowl. Hell, I was the oldest of the bunch. I should get MORE than anybody else. That idea made sense to me.

My grandma was a strapping woman in her 40s back then and she got sick and tired of listening to my whiney, bitching shit. She opened up a fresh quart of ice cream, stuck a spoon in it and said, "Okay! Now you have exactly what you wanted. Eat it ALL, and don't quit until you are finished."

I was happy for about five minutes. But a quart of ice cream is a LOT for a six year-old boy to eat. My brother and Cousin Ernie finished their bowls and ran off to play. I still had that quart of ice cream in front of me.

I tried to eat it. I froze my goozle and got a headache. I started to whine. "You asked for it, now eat what you asked for," my grandma said. She made me sit at the table until I never wanted any more ice cream again in my life.

I don't like ice cream to this day.

Comments

Too bad your Daddy didn't do that to you with a pack of Luckys.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on October 15, 2003 09:15 PM

Damn, man-(she says softly).

I'm sorry you had to lose such a simple pleasure at such a young age.
Just doesn't seem right, somehow.

But, another big chunk of 'understanding you' just fell into place.
Wow.

Posted by: Stevie on October 15, 2003 10:15 PM

Seems harsh at first glance, true. But my grandma was the same way, and I'm 34 and live in MN.

I'll never forget the lessons my grandma taught me.

Mom was one thing, dealin' with grandma was another! She didn't put up with no shit. And that was lucky for me.

Posted by: Gina on October 15, 2003 10:23 PM

My mom did something like that to me once. My dad travelled a lot and used to collect those little bottles of liquor that they gave away on airplanes back then. My dad never drank but he like his little collection of bottles. One day my friend and I got into the collection and poured a little gin in our koolaid. Naturally we got caught. My mom said, "you like to drink...you're going to drink" She made me drink an entire little bottle of gin. Nasty! I must've been about 12 years old and it sure made a lasting impression.

Posted by: Brian on October 15, 2003 11:21 PM

My mom did something like that to me once. My dad travelled a lot and used to collect those little bottles of liquor that they gave away on airplanes back then. My dad never drank but he like his little collection of bottles. One day my friend and I got into the collection and poured a little gin in our koolaid. Naturally we got caught. My mom said, "you like to drink...you're going to drink" She made me drink an entire little bottle of gin. Nasty! I must've been about 12 years old and it sure made a lasting impression.

Posted by: Brian on October 15, 2003 11:21 PM

Yeah, but you love you grandma.

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