September 27, 2003

band names

I've played in several bands. The first one was "Snake and the Reptiles" back in 1968 (I am NOT making that up!). We wore black turtleneck shirts and white pants, and played rock and roll music. We sucked as a band, but we dressed well. We reformed in 1969 and became "The Coconut Carrotpatch." We still sucked, but we stopped dressing so well. I started growing my hair long about then.

In 1970 I gave up rock and roll went folk. I played with "Bellweather," which quickly became known as "Bedwetter" among our sneering rivals. Fuck them. I came up with the name of that band. We were pretty good, too. We worked on serious three-part harmony.

In 1974, I became one half of "The Fabulous Smith Brothers." We played together all through college and made a lot of money, for college students. I went independent after that. I was graduated and I almost starved to death for six months as an advertising copywriter. I needed the money and I liked the bars. I went back to music as a solo act and ditched the copywriting job.

I played with myself (yes, those words were intentional) for a little more than five years. Ah, the stories I can tell....

I went straight after that and didn't play with another band until 1986, when I became a bass player in a garage rock and roll band. I had come full circle. We sucked at first, but I was playing with some pretty good musicians, and we jelled quickly. In a month, with one practice per week, we were sounding good and tight. We couldn't decide on a name for the band, despite my many suggestions. The bastards I played with never listened to me.

We found our name after our first gig at a private party.

Some disgruntled neighbor called the police on us THREE TIMES that night and we had the honor and privilege of meeting the "Noise Officer" of Chatham County. I don't know how you qualify for that job, but it must not take much. The guy was a real asshole.

After that night, the band was named. Call The Cops. I never liked that name and I quit the band shortly thereafter. I like THESE names for a band:

Cooter Gap
Georgia Train Wreck
Gut Rumbles
The Tacklebox Band
Finger in Your Face
The Slickrock Sliders
Suck WHAT?
Slim Pickings
Skippin' Rock
Lazy Daze

I kinda miss playing in a band today.