Gut Rumbles
 

September 19, 2003

i must look really old

The company I work for just announced a corporate-wide Work Force Reduction Plan to trim about $30 million per year off operating costs. The company intends to get rid of between 7-to-9 percent of the people currently employed. The dirty deed will be done in three ways:

1) We'll give you the chance to leave of your own volition, with a nice early retirement package if you are over the age of 55 with at least seven years with the company.

2) You will be told to leave because your job is abolished, and you will receive a reduced severance package.

3) You will be thrown out on your ear because your boss says that you were never worth a shit anyway. The "severance package" you get then is a set of walking papers.

I cannot believe the number of people who have asked ME if I am going to take "the package." I WOULD if I COULD, but I'm only 51 (and a half) years old!!! I DON'T QUALIFY!!!

This shit has really depressed me since the notice was released. Do I really LOOK 55 or older? Maybe I do. I damn sure have the gray silver hair of someone that age. I look in the mirror MYSELF and wonder who IS that old fart staring back at me? Yeah, I could see someone 30 years old thinking I was ready to be put to out pasture when he/she sees me.

But I really believe that people at work think I am older than my actual age because I've been there for a long time. There are only about two dozen people in the place who have seniority on me. October 9th will make 24 years that I've worked at that plant. I'm one of the few remaining people there who remember when American Cyanamid owned it. That company doesn't exist anymore.

All the old heads grabbed their packages and ran when the new owners took over three years ago and offered them an out. I didn't qualify then, and I don't qualify now. I am too old to be vital and too young to be bought off. Ain't that a bitch?

I don't care if I was an old head when most of the employees working there now hired in. I STILL don't think I look 55 years old. I don't care if I HAVE been there for what seems like forever.

I don't look a day over 54.

Comments

You're going to say "bite me" to this, but smoking does not make anyone look younger.

Posted by: sugarmama on September 19, 2003 05:00 PM

*snicker*

Posted by: shell on September 19, 2003 05:23 PM

This is a combined notice to Sugar and Shell:

BITE ME!

Posted by: Acidman on September 19, 2003 06:03 PM

This reminds me of the time my Mom went to a garden show and said she thought there was some little old lady with lovely white hair following her around. She finally stopped to take a look at her and realized that there were mirrors all over the place and the lady with the pretty hair was her. She said that to this day that she just doesn't see herself that way. She also said she had a good chuckle over it.

Posted by: Diane K on September 19, 2003 06:46 PM

MB thinks her silver pelt is absolutely gorgeous, so don't you worry about those silver hairs.

Posted by: MommaBear on September 19, 2003 06:57 PM

I think you're in a position where you'll not be touched by the reduction. Management needs someone that knows how the Hell to run their moneymaker. But maybe the BC will get whacked!

$30 million? We're going through a $125 million reduction. They whacked over 150 people yesterday alone. A friend I've known for almost 20 years got "severed" today. I think I'm safe but who knows for sure?

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on September 19, 2003 07:21 PM

Ralph, you never know. I believe that I am safe, but a friend of mine and I asked each other today, "Just how many times have we been through this shit? "

We settled on SIX TIMES since 1992.

Posted by: Acidman on September 19, 2003 07:33 PM

If I may... ehhem... That's a fine head of hair you've got there - and what a fine head it sits upon! ;)

Posted by: Amber on September 19, 2003 07:53 PM

I got 'severed' twice during the dot-com bubble burst. Twice in 3 years was too much to stomach. I started my own business so at least now no one gives me my walking papers but me. I hope I never have to go back to working for anyone.

Posted by: Chablis on September 19, 2003 08:17 PM

*chomp*

Posted by: shell on September 19, 2003 08:28 PM

My construction business crashed and burned after 9/11, and had to go to work for somebody else, who crashed and burned. I'm back workin' for myself again. Maybe I'm the bad luck, and should go to work for the IRS.

It is hard to get hired by others when you gots silver hair, no matter how much brain power it's covering.

Posted by: SwampWoman on September 19, 2003 09:45 PM

You don't look a day over 54, eh? Well, Sunday I am 54. Not a lot of silver on the old noggin, but I have been called a greybeard (and with good justification, I suppose).

Agewise? Sorry, no sympathy from me.

Posted by: Hank on September 19, 2003 09:46 PM

You look fine, sonny. But I've got better hair.
:-)

Posted by: Parkway Rest Stop on September 19, 2003 09:49 PM

It's the hair, dear. At least you have a full head of it.

That backside doesn't look 55 (or 51, for that matter)!

Posted by: Juliette on September 19, 2003 09:50 PM

Acidman:

If they're forcing out all the older employees, you might wanna' talk to a lawyer. There is this thing called the Age Discrimination Employment Act. So what if it's liberal, big government legislation? It's there for the using.

Posted by: Rex-Pat on September 19, 2003 10:16 PM

Happy birthday, Hank!

You old fart.

Posted by: Acidman on September 20, 2003 12:15 AM

Any possibility those people just said that to make you wonder/worry/squirm? Could it be...jealousy? Wanting your job? They were assholes?

I told you myself one of the reasons I kept coming back is that you're good-looking. I also said that in your guestbook 'lo those many months ago.
What I hadn't told you, until now, is that I saw a picture of you from a while back over at your daughters blog and, Dude, anyone that frickin' gorgeous doesn't not grow old and get ugly. Barring an industrial accident, of course.
Quit worrying.

Posted by: Stevie on September 20, 2003 02:00 AM

Oops. I swear, I meant "Anyone that frickin' gorgeous does not grow old and get ugly...."

Damn keyboard.

Must. Use. Preview.

(God...why me?)

Posted by: Stevie on September 20, 2003 02:03 AM

Cripes Acidman, I should post a pic of myself somewhere to make you feel better. I'm 32, look like I'm 50. By the time I'm 50 I'll prolbably look like fucking Gandalf.

Posted by: Graumagus on September 20, 2003 11:14 AM

1. Silver hair is sexy
2. So are men 50+
3. This 31 year old doesn't think you look that old!
4. If only I lived in Jawja.....

Posted by: amyvegas on September 20, 2003 01:00 PM

BF is 53 , Im 37. He looks alot older than he is, so what? Hard life/fun life, who really cares? You look great in the pict's I've seen!

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