August 24, 2003
long lost pizza
I order delivered pizzas from the local Domino's about twice every week. The boys announced hunger pangs at 6:30 yesterday evening, so I called Domino's and ordered TWO pizzas. Cheese and sausage for the mutts and All The Way for me.
The person I talked to said the delivery would be here in 30 minutes.
At 8:30, I called back to ask where in the hell were my pizzas? Nobody knew. The delivery person left over an hour ago. I hung up and the phone rang almost immediately. "Is this Rob Smith? Where do you live? I've got your pizzas but I can't find you."
The dingbat was halfway across the county and Effingham is a BIG county. I gave her instructions, starting with "TURN AROUND!" and told her how to find the Crackerbox. She finally arrived at 10:00 when the boys were almost asleep.
I probably could have called Domino's, raised hell and gotten the pizzas for free. But I didn't. I paid for the pizzas and tipped the delivery person $5.00. I figured she needed gas after all the driving she had done. She was apologetic, explaining that she was new to the job and she didn't know Effingham County very well. I hope she gets better at her work. Otherwise, she won't last long. Not everybody who orders a pizza is as nice as I am when it finally arrives three hours late and I have to tell the driver how to get here.
I kept the boys awake long enough to eat, then I let them fall out for the night.
I never even took a bite of my pizza. I was too sleepy by then.
That wouldn't have been me, I know that. I get very irrate when it comes to Dominoes. We usually get ours from the Pooler one and them bitches always forget my damn parmasean cheese, despite the fact that I take time to explain that I WANT IT over the phone about three times when I order. I became so irrate last time when the delivery guy didn't bring it that I started cussing and told him to "take the mf'ng pizza back damnit because I'm tired of them screwing my fucking order up". He went all the way back to Pooler and came back with a shit load of cheese and some free drinks. Bastards. And no, I did not tip.
Cold pizza.... breakfast of champions.
Pooler? You're just down the road from me.
But you sound too angry to invite for a beer.
Well, pizza is always good for breakfast too.
I never had a bad Domino's experience, but I actually started ordering from them after I had a horrendous experience with Papa Gino's. Which got "fixed" pretty well because my brother in law works in their headquarters and passed along my angry e-mail.
They got almost all the way through taking my order and then decided it was necessary, a few words from consumating the conversation, to ask me to hold. After holding for 10 minutes I hung up and called back. They offered me the 2 liter Pepsi I was ordering for free. Almost an hour later the delivery guy showed up. The soda I wanted enough to pay $2 for was NOT WITH HIM and he know NOTHING about it, because when they made it complementary, they made it easy TO FORGET!
Then after he left I opened the pizza.
It was the WRONG FUCKING ONE!
It was delicious, but I was FUCKING PISSED!
The staff there got some retraining and I got coupons for a couple free cheese pizzas. With an excessively short expiration date. Which I used at a different Papa Gino's, having written off the one near my apartment. And which were both suffering my usual complain of the ingredients slapped on haphazardly so a large section of the pizza has little or now sauce and cheese.
I still like Papa Gino's pizza better. For I think the first time since then, many months ago, I actually bought one last week at work. Mmmm, meat lover's combo. Meat, yum.
Never have pizza delivered. Get in the car, and go pick it up.
Or, if you happen to live in a large urban metropolis as I do, just walk to the pizza place on the corner at four in the morning. :)
Mr. Lion is right: nothing like getting the pizza when you want it, no matter when the whim strikes. I won't get it delivered either. If the urge for pizza strikes on the way home from work, I place the call to Topper's as I hit the freeway at Lindero Canyon Road. By the time I get down the hill and hit the ramp they have it ready for pickup, and it is not the least bit out of my way.
I only order delivery when I'm being lazy or sick or something and don't want to set foot outside the house. Or if I'm at the office and so busy it's worth my while. At the office I like to get barbecue chicken pizza from a mom & pop place owned by immigrants; Greek or middle eastern or something. It's the best ever, anywhere; chicken, bacon and pineapple. They also make the best fries I have ever had anywhere in my entire life, all of a mile away from the office.
Ironically, their plain old pizza isn't how I like it. Pizza involves sauce dammit. Lots of cheese too, but not lots of cheese on a crust with a smidge of sauce painted on in between. Their Hawaiian pizza is good, despite minimal sauce, so that's the other kind I sometimes get.
And now you know why the Boomer Generation is going to have to work until they're 70 or even older. It's because the generations coming up behind us can't even do the simple jobs right!
Me? Angry? Pah. Wherever did you get that? ;)
Actually I'm RIGHT down the road from you. Effingham Country, Faulkville way.
I actually live RIGHT next door to a pizza place, but they're family owned and a tad expensive. The only thing I've ever ordered from them was a salad, which was kick ass. Took me three days to eat it. I think I might start giving them my business.
I have been a stranger in a strange land.