Gut Rumbles
 

August 02, 2003

it's my opinion

I left a comment over on marc's blog about bottled water. Here is what I said:

I can drink out of the fucking toilet around a three day-old turd. That's why I never get sick. I grew up in a coal mining camp and my auto-immune system is finely-tuned. I drank BROWN WATER as a child.

You bottled-water drinking people need to stick that crap in an enema bag and squirt that $2.00 per pint bullshit up your yuppie asses.

Goddam. I can buy LIQUOR that doesn't cost as much as your WATER. Buncha pussies.

To me, bottled water symbolizes everything that has gone wrong with this country since the goddam Great Society brain-fart was hatched. We've pussified damn near three generations now by promising them a risk-free life. There IS NO SUCH THING, PEOPLE!!! Ya pussies.

I took polio shots as a child because the "swimming hole" was flowing with raw sewage anytime some bastard upstream took a shit in the outhouse he built over the river because he was too lazy to dig a hole in the rocky ground. I took shots for cholera and diptheria, too. Nobody gave a shit about second-hand smoke and we breathed leaded-gas exhaust emissions, coal dust and wood-smoke every day without dying. In fact, we seldom got sick.

Now, we have legions of neurotic fuckwads who are "allergic" to smoke, mold, new carpet, flouridated water, water-based paint, the air, the dirt, the daylight and the night. You know what the bare-assed, nekkid truth about those people is? THEY ARE FUCKING PUSSIES!!!

Goddam. We once grew pioneers in this country. Now we grow whining pussies by the bushel. I blame environmentalists and trial lawyers for this bullshit.


Comments

A-freaking-men.

Posted by: Mr. Lion on August 2, 2003 03:36 PM

Buncha damn wussies.

We may joke about how the older generations "complain" about how tough they had it (walked to school barefoot, in the snow, uphill both ways), but dammit, tough living toughened them up.

Not just physically, either - ask anyone who lived through the Great Depression what tough times are like, compared to the economic downturn from which we are now emerging.

Maybe the herd needs culling.

Posted by: Russ on August 2, 2003 03:50 PM

I am inclinded to agree with you up to a point. However, we know that those people you were raised around tended to die at an earlier age than many and some of those deaths were from environmental causes. Some cancers are more prevailent when environmental exposures are considered. Lungs - smoking (I didn't say second hand - we aren't sure about that) and melanoma - the sun (that's why some of us chose to stay pasty white like the Yankees you talked about yesterday.) I'm sure heredity was the primary cause of your prostate cancer - but are you SURE that some of the environmental exposure you've had over the years didn't cause it to happen a lot earlier than it might have? PLEASE don't get your shorts in a twist - if you have any on - I know they are optional in the Crackerbox - I'm not attacking what you said, just suggesting it's somewhat more complicated than you stated.

Posted by: Patty on August 2, 2003 03:53 PM

Don't worry guys, civilization is always just a few strokes of bad luck away from collapse (asteroid hits, cataclysmic movements of the tectonic plates, sudden incurable epidemics, &c.). There could be a major "culling" any day now.
I would guess you wouldn't be all that thrilled if it actually happened, though.
I agree with you though, Acidman. I'm from a later generation than you; I grew up in the 70's and 80's. But things were totally different. We would play outside all day long from the age of 6, coming in for lunch and to check in after dark to see if we could stay out for a few more hours (if it wasn't a school night). We breathed second-hand smoke, shot real bows and arrows, played with lawn darts, went for long trips without seat belts, went hiking in the hills without grown-ups... and most of us survived. ;-) Hell, nobody I knew ever died or disappeared.
Most kids are very sheltered now, and it's kind of sad. People say it's because of all the weirdos out there nowdays, but I suspect there were just as many weirdos back then. And I tell you what, unless he caught us off-guard, alone and unarmed, any weirdo who nabbed one of us would have at least paid a high price in pain, if he somehow managed to catch us up. We were like Brer Rabbit in them thickets. :-)
Out here in rural Texas, though, I still see kids who live the good life, tooling around on their ATVs hunting coyotes with their rifles, riding their bikes around the neighborhood all day long. But most of the suburban kids lead a very supervised existence.

Posted by: asm on August 2, 2003 04:20 PM

Like Hemingway said: when you had to climb up the damned mountain to ski down it nobody broke their legs.

Posted by: Velociman on August 2, 2003 05:25 PM

If I could get Jack Daniels delivered to my house in 5 gallon jugs for $7 each, you can bet I'd sign up for that shit in a heartbeat.

I don't give a rat's ass about toxins. My tap water tastes bad. Bottled water tastes good. I like drinking things that tastes good. Like Jack and water.

Mmmmm...

Posted by: shell on August 2, 2003 06:08 PM

Absolutely. We're all going to die ANYWAY, we should do what we want, enjoy the short time we have left, to hell with the ones who want to protect us (oh, I'm sorry -- they only want to protect children) from everything.

Posted by: Raspil on August 3, 2003 06:50 AM

Bottled water takes like plastic. Perfect for fuckers who like the taste of a latexed dick.

Posted by: bjk on August 3, 2003 02:04 PM

South Dakota water kept me sitting and shitting all night because of all the crap the city put in it.
When I was homeless, I DID drink brown water that tasted literally like shit and drank river water that made me puke.
I did it because I HAD to do it.
The water out here in San Diego tastes like I'm licking a rusty can.
Given the choice between, "pussified bottle water" that is clean and doesnt have all the crap the cities put in their municipal water systems or microbial infested shit water, guess which one I'll pick?

IF I don't have a choice, I'd drink my own piss if it's a matter of survival.

Posted by: Greg on August 3, 2003 04:02 PM

I look at these people and comfort myself with the thought that 100 years ago, I'd have lived to a ripe old age (unless murdered by a jealous wife with good cause) while most of them wouldn't have made it to first grade.

And the reason so many of the current population is so sickly and diseased: Their parents, who would also have died 100 yrs ago, didn't, found other weaklings, and bred even more, even weaker children.

Sounds cold, brutal and heartless, but there it is.

Posted by: Mamamontezz on August 4, 2003 11:32 AM

I drink bottled water sometimes because that bottled water from Sam's/Walmart ($2.50 for ten 20 oz bottles) is the best tasting water EVER.

Posted by: sugarmama on August 4, 2003 04:04 PM
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