Gut Rumbles

July 26, 2003

my aching ass

Wimmen bitch. No matter what. That's WHAT THEY DO! Give 'em anything they want and it's never good enough. Just read this shit.

THAT missive was written by a put-upon victim of society who is retired in her 30s in Hawaii today. Poor baby. Life sure is rough, isn't it?

What is it with you chicks? Your goddam "heroes" got you just what you wanted (big-time jobs, no glass ceilings, careers and work work work) and now you bitch about THAT. Bejus!

There is no way to satisfy a woman. Hormone-crazed witches believe that they are sane when they are at their craziest. If they didn't have a pussy there would be a bounty on them.

That's MY humble opinion, after two divorces. I know how goddam helpless and put-upon the vindictive, bloodless cunts are in court.

Call me Fanny and slap my ass. Kiss it first.


That makes being single a lot easier.

Posted by: curtis kreutzberg on July 26, 2003 04:05 PM


I'll be a typical male and leave a response here rather than there. Not that I'm afraid of leaving one there, I just don't want to deal with it.

Get my drift?

Posted by: james on July 26, 2003 04:42 PM

I tried reading it, but my eyes can't take the crappy text color. Fucking headache. It has to be the worst blog to read.

I'll take your word for it.

Posted by: Lobowalk on July 26, 2003 05:43 PM

She can't be all bad. She uses a lot of you'r metaphors.

Posted by: Jim Thomas on July 26, 2003 05:57 PM

Why do women have two sets of lips?

So they can piss and moan at the same time.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on July 26, 2003 06:50 PM

Ah, I see I've stumbled onto the KOBE (note the correct spelling) Bryant fan club here.

Posted by: Joni on July 26, 2003 07:06 PM

Okay boys...I'll bite...let it all hang out and tell me how you really feel '-)

Posted by: Laura on July 26, 2003 07:08 PM

Ralph is onboard with those snappy comebacks tonight! Ralph is in the house!! {{claps wildly}}

Okay, here's one for you boys:

How many women does it take to open a can of beer?

Anyone? Anyone?

(The answer will be posted on my site at 7:30 p.m. Be there or be square.)

Posted by: Joni on July 26, 2003 07:21 PM

I'm just hanging around waiting for the nuclear conniption that makes you pull your site off the air again. Solid gold, foot-stompin', hold-your-breath tantrums, imho.

Posted by: Anna on July 26, 2003 07:42 PM

This part of your post says it all:

"That's MY humble opinion, after two divorces. "

Firstly, you must see that you have no freaking clue what it takes to make a marriage WORK, only what makes it FAIL and;

Secondly, that you might just be a tiny bit biased about the fact that you feel have been "screwed" twice.

I'm not quite sure how to take this, except that I expected better of you. Why the hell I would is anyone's guess. Maybe I read too much into your drunken "introspective" posts, huh?

Posted by: margi on July 26, 2003 07:53 PM

Well, I made it abundantly clear when my husband agreed to marry me that I do not believe in divorce. In fact, I told him that I came from a long line of women who do not believe in divorce. Shake my family tree, and you not likely to see a lot of divorcee's tumble out.

You will find widows. Plenty of widows. Plenty of young widows.

Haven't had a lick of trouble out of him since.

Posted by: Mamamontezz on July 26, 2003 08:27 PM

It takes one. And she'd better be damned quick about it, too!

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on July 26, 2003 10:05 PM

Amen, Margie! I couldn't have said it better.

Posted by: Dawn on July 26, 2003 10:16 PM

I dunno.

You know what? parts of that post...I understand them...but, that's part of life and part of motherhood, part of being someone's partner.

If things become too damn taxing, it's time to take a long hard look at what your priorities are. If the only place the kids can get your attention is in the bathroom while you're indisposed and incapable of making a getaway, or while you're drinking your coffee, or maybe while you're on your way to the grocery store....MAYBE it's time to step away from the computer and spend more time with the kids. This isn't a don't even think's an observation from someone (ME) who had to take a long hard look at how much time I spent online instead of with those who love me and want/ed to spend time with me.

I think the fact that some women are "tired" or "bored" of feeling put upon is simply a sign that their priorities are out of whack. Time to sit down, take stock of what's important and figure out what one really wants out of life.

Human nature, not gender, dictates that we'll always find something to bitch about...but, the smart person doesn't blame others for their situation. The smart person makes every effort to take care of what's lacking, what's wrong, or to make some sort of effort to establish a sense of calm.

Now, excuse me while I write up my latest bitch post.

Posted by: Da Goddess on July 26, 2003 11:06 PM

Here's what I posted to that display of laziness.Welcome to Being A Human. You're complaining about doing the laundry, cooking breakfast, and paying attention to your family. You mention something about being tired, but mention nothing about how well off you are. You can't simply sit there, like Homer Simpson, and do absolutely nothing, in the ultimate display of laziness. You cannot be the Baron Harkonnen. If you live, you work. That's the rule.

You want a break? Then take a break. The rest of us work five days a week for a year to have one week to ourselves, and it's probably not to ourselves. You wake up in the morning, drinking coffee in front of the ocean, and you're complaining? I wake up to my apartment (the best I can afford -- due to pure chance, I'm lucky enough to have a view of downtown), go out into the "fresh air" of the city, and work up to 12 hours a day in an economy that is an inch from "downsizing" my entire department, which would make me a supervisor with no one to supervise.

You're doing more than your mother did because everyone, everywhere is doing more. That's the cost of our current economy. Guys (including myself) who bathe their children and cook dinner for them have been doing this for DECADES, on top of holding a job and dealing with it for nothing but keeping a roof above our families. It's a wonder that you feel somehow attacked when your husband and children ask you to cook dinner. You probably have no clue how much your husband puts up with, including dealing with you.

You're not necessarily angry at us? Every last word in your post throws spite at men, you're simply trying to smooth things over by including a sentence that completely lies in its vaguely disassociative "but not you, dear" wording, placement and postulate.


Ok, now you're just being stupid. "But don't expect credit for it." Wow. Yea, lemme just get right on it. I'll serve you anything you want, from working our asses off to keep us not-homeless, to dealing with you, and then I'll mow the lawn, take out the trash, fix the gutter and the sink in the bathroom, and then lovingly light candles and pour wine instead of going out with the guys.


Posted by: Z on July 27, 2003 06:10 AM

Just out of curiosity, Z, are you in a steady relationship? And if so, just how much do you contribute to its well being?

In other words, who picks your smelly socks off the floor?

I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling overwhelmed. I think everyone in this society has felt it to one degree or another. The pressure that society puts on all of us, that the media (Madison Avenue) puts on all of us. But women feel it more I guess because women think appearances matter more. Why? Because appearances matter to MEN. But as long as men can stick out their beer guts and caress their two-day old stubble and think that's okay, yet bitch because their honeys haven't shaved their legs in the same amount of time.... well. Don't expect me to side with you Y chromosome folks.

Posted by: Joni on July 27, 2003 06:18 AM

Everyone should go read Moody Mama's collection of posts called The Stroll. Compare those posts with Kate's and tell me whose account of living makes you FEEL more exhausted.

Perspective, folks. It's all about perspective.

Posted by: Da Goddess on July 27, 2003 08:33 AM

A-men! Goddess, you just said it all. I read every word she wrote and then made a promise (that most likely I won't keep) when I start feeling sorry for myself (and usually for no particular reason) that I need to put things into perspective!!

Posted by: Cyn on July 27, 2003 09:22 AM

It was a well-written post that appeals to all mother's. But guess what? Unless you are living in a housing project somewhere wondering how to feed your kids and if you can afford next month's rent, well shut up.

We all have problems and if you choose to be a mother, I guess you better get used to it, cause it goes with the job.

Posted by: Dawn on July 27, 2003 12:53 PM

May I note that if a man threw a tantrum at a level that the spouse had to run & hide in fear of her safety, he'd probably be in jail for domestic abuse? Here, it's 'you have to understand me, or else.

Posted by: Mark on July 27, 2003 02:02 PM

Seems to me like Mr. Venomous needs to get a weekly poker game going with his buddies. Then she can have "time off" from him.

God forbid that any man should have fun without including his missus, though.

No wonder young men don't want to get married these days. I wouldn't want to, either., especially to a harridan like this one.

I give it five years before the balance tips, and he says "Fuck it" and walks out.

Posted by: Kim du Toit on July 27, 2003 03:43 PM

It is a provocative post, and it that sense it is of literary interest, but the entire premise is based on accepting a lie. The lie that Kate, and far too many women, swallowed is that they have a right to have private time EVER or that they are so overwhelmed with the difficulties of life.

There are two myths operating here: 1), That women CAN have it all (motherhood, wife, career) and we’re the first generation to do this, and 2), that our mothers had it easy.

Not to let the facts get in the way of a great whine, but that’s just bullshit.

When you have children you surrender your right to privacy. When you get married you agree to share your life with your partner and sometimes it may not fit in with your day planner.

The biggest lie that women seem to have accepted, to the extent that they whine about (like Kate has done) when reality isn’t syncing with the lie, is that women of another generation had it easier.

Women have always worked. If you don’t get that, if you don’t want to believe that, or if a course in women’s studies, too many reads of Our Bodies Ourselves, or some other propagandist feminist bullshit makes you think otherwise, get over it. Daily life, just staying alive, was work until about 50 years ago.

The reason that women were able to leave the house for work in the last two generations, wasn't because some idiot woman with a sash stood on a bandstand and fought for some sort of political pardon that "freed" women from "oppressive' men. It was because we had things like birth control, electric dishwashers, vacuum cleaners, gas stoves, store made sliced bread, McDonald’s happy meals, and disposable diapers and diaper services.

Prior to the introduction of those luxuries, someone had to do all those things, and most people weren’t in the upper 5% that could hire people to do it for them.

And I don’t want to hear any bullshit excuses that all those daily life drudgeries of keeping the stove full of wood, the cow milked, the butter churned, the clothing mended, the thread spun, or the water brought in, meant that men sat on their asses being served and oppressing their wimmin folk. The men were in the barn re shoeing the horse, sticking his forearm up the cow to pull out the calf, tending the fences, gathering the hay, and plowing the fields. When he had a few minutes of spare time, he got to fall asleep at 7:00 pm.

And if they were lucky, they’d live to the ripe old age of 35.

The bottom line is, we are fucking lucky. We have it so easy and our lives are so cushy by comparison of any previous generation, that we have the time to indulge ourselves and actually THINK about how put upon we are. Puhleeze.

We do have chips on our shoulders: that we think that we have a right to spend our days in hour long bubble baths, reading from Oprah's book list, or can complain when we break a sweat carrying in the bags full of frozen pizzas.

Posted by: Mrs. du Toit on July 27, 2003 04:18 PM

Damn. Finally get my frigging typing done one-handed, and Mrs. Du Toit said it all. All I can add is "Hear, hear".

Posted by: That Bitch on July 28, 2003 01:21 AM

I'd really like to hear Lilek's thoughts on this...

Posted by: Justin Yoshida on July 28, 2003 01:34 AM

I think Electric Venom is full of shit. Her post is dangerous. Of course, your post does about the same thing...lumps an entire group of people into a stereotype based on experience with a few. But we're all entitled to our opinions, right?

Posted by: Tracy on July 28, 2003 09:16 AM

Sigh. This is going to get ugly all over the internet, isn't it? Can't we have a peaceful blogverse for one month?

As for women being "goddam helpless and put-upon the vindictive, bloodless cunts are in court" sometimes men can be just as cruel.

Breakups, money, and life investments never mix. They bring out the cruelty in people.

Such a shame too.

Posted by: dj mo fo on July 30, 2003 05:15 PM

My grandmother stood on a box from the time she was 5 years old to cook, wash dishes, and then she stepped off to clean for her family that eventually ran to 9 because she was the oldest girl and her mother was insane. Then she had the fun of going into the fields with the men for the day and came back home, got on the box and cooked supper. She was 5, folks.

Don't even begin to tell me that women have it hard today OR that they didn't do twice the work of men in days gone by. I'd rather poke my eye out with a sharp stick than gripe about my life to my grandmother. It would be ridiculous. But she always said she wished she was a man because they had it easy. Interesting paradox.

Half the time I enjoy Kate and Gut Rumbles. The other half of the time I wonder why they are both so pissed off. Geez. Life doesn't always just happen to you when you're an adult. You choose a good deal of it.

Posted by: Lana on July 30, 2003 09:43 PM

Ok everyone, take a deep breath.

No matter where you go on this planet or when you go in time, there is always going to be something that makes people bitch. Deal. What I don't like is this finger pointing. Like lady venom said, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Every single person has moments when they feel put-upon by someone else, be they a child a spouse or a job. Is it so much to ask that each person gets a moment to themselves every now and then in order to maintain a modicum of sanity? I see people talking about previous generations, and how they never had any time to themselves. Of course they did. Where do you think all of our festivals and celebrations came from? They were doing that for themselves, to relieve a little of the day in and day out, gender aside. (of course if you're bent on finger pointing, go ahead, I just don't think that it will do any of you any good.)

Posted by: Khali on August 3, 2003 02:28 PM
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