Gut Rumbles
 

July 16, 2003

roscoe update

I am going to post one of these "updates" every day until I either get well or get laid. I am doing it ONLY to help others who someday may follow in my footsteps, so I now give of myself to relieve some of their suffering and doubt later. The thought that I satisfy a lot of prurient interests here has nothing to do with these posts.

Hell, I wish SOMEBODY HAD WRITTEN A BLOG LIKE THIS before I had the surgery. I might not be so ignorant about what's going on now.

I got the bright idea to wear baggy shorts underneath my work pants today. That was a bad idea for two reasons. Oh, my balls felt just great, all liberated and free-swinging. But those bastards, after their hospital shave, have grown a terrible five-o'clock shadow that felt like sand spurs and cactus bearding my inner thighs all day. I am fucking RAW from that.

And that semi-boner did NOT go away. I just gave him room to roam and become obvious unless I kept a hand in my pocket to subdue his enthusiasm. I think I'm going to take a pair of my tight shorts and cut part of the crotch out of them. Then, I'm going to put duct tape on MY INNER THIGHS!

That way, my jewels can roam free and I can pen Roscoe in a coop without any more damage than the bikini wax I'll get when I remove the duct tape.

After today, that bikini wax is NOTHING to fear.

Comments

Hang in there! (Maybe the wrong phrase?)

Posted by: Merry on July 16, 2003 05:00 PM

Duct Tape....told ya!
If ya can't hang tough...LOOM large!!

Posted by: Rumbear on July 16, 2003 06:19 PM

What about that moleskin shit they sell at outdoor/hiking stores? You know, that shit you use on a blister or somesuch?

Maybe if you got some moleskin and stuck it on your thighs it would protect your thighs and comfort some of your other parts. The moleskin stuff is (I think) stickyback, so the downside is you might lose some thigh hair ripping it off.

Just a thought.

Posted by: Hank on July 16, 2003 08:17 PM

WAIT! TAKING OFF THE DUCT TAPE ISN"T GOING TO BE...well its too late I guess you're in bed by now..I'm not sure tape is a good idea..I say sit at your desk with no pants on all day...just don't be a gentlemen and get up if someone walks in the room..LOL''

Posted by: Trease on July 16, 2003 09:50 PM

And guys wonder why most women don't want nasty 5 o'clock faces near their inner thighs - guess you found out the hard way!

Posted by: bogie on July 17, 2003 06:35 AM

AND they wonder why women would much rather shell out big bucks for electroalysis or laser hair removal, than put up with their own version of a constant nether-region five-o-clock shadow. {OUCH!}

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